Do not collect “What Ifs” in your life

“What Ifs” are regrets that one collects in life.

When my daughter was in 5th grade (currently she is a senior in high school), she came to me and told me that she wanted to audition for a solo for the school’s yearly musical event.

She said, “Mommy what if I fail, what if I do not get the part?”

I gently told her the question that she needs to ask should be a different one and that is, “What if I do not try?”

I hugged her and informed her, “Whenever you get out of your comfort zone and try something knowing that you may fail, consider yourself a winner. If you look back and see “what ifs” in the rearview mirror of your life, the regret will eat you alive.”

She went and auditioned, did not get the part, but came home smiling and said, “Mommy, I tried, I gave it all I had, and it feels good.” We live in a wooded area and she went outside and sang for the birds.

That incident was a turning point for her. Since then, she stopped allowing the fear of failure from precluding her from the courage to try. She pursues her passion, whether it is in STEM, the Digital Arts, or being a lead in a musical, knowing that failure is included in these paths, but at the same time realizing that her grit muscles are being trained to get her up when tossed down. Her desire to stop accumulating “What Ifs” in her life has been intentional, the same way that it was for me years back.

Why did I stop collecting “What Ifs” in my life?

It was because of something I witnessed at a funeral service many years ago. The person had died suddenly due to a massive heart attack. One of the relatives got up to speak about the person that died, but the speech he gave saddened me. It was full of regrets.

Through tears and anguish, he said, “What if I had told you how much you mean to me? It would have then brightened up your day. What if I had thanked you for all the things you did for me? You would have known what your deeds meant to me. What if I had communicated with you frequently through the years? It would have minimized your loneliness. I wish I had not taken you for granted.”

The “What Ifs” in him was like a strong acid that corrodes anything in its path.

Sitting in the pew of the funeral home that day, I vowed to myself that I will not collect “What Ifs” in my life.

So,

Do you want to make a positive change in your passion area? Know that one person can make a difference and that one person is you. Do not wait for the crowd. Start the positive change.

Do you want to innovate, but hesitate because of the failures you may encounter? Start working on your innovation knowing that you may fail, but realizing that you will be getting a step closer to what you want to create. Let the words of Thomas Edison inspire you who stated “I have not failed; I have just found 10,000 ways that will not work,” when asked why he was not quitting his quest to create the first commercially practical light bulb.

Do you want to learn a new skill set? Learn it. Nowadays there are so many free courses.

Do you have an overdue thank you to say to someone? Say it.

Do you have an overdue kindness to give to someone? Give it.

Do you have an overdue call you need to make to someone? Make the call. Find the number, if you do not have it.

Do you want to start and grow your network? Start with one person.

Are you getting the hang of this?

Today is yours and there is no guarantee that tomorrow will be yours. Hindsight vision is 20/20 and when you look back in your life, do not see a human being whose insides are decimated with so many “What Ifs” because you did not take the first step or you stopped trying because you encountered a failure, in whatever form that failure may exhibit itself.

In the words of Winston Churchill, “Success is not final, and failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.”